In the absence of data, our brains create stories. Brene Brown
In healthcare, in the presence of some data, our brains create elaborate stories to tie the “facts” together. We even have a term for it, differential diagnosis.
We take our natural story making tendencies and sharpen them into a very useful skill.
Sometimes though, this honed skill can take a creative twist that doesn’t support us at work. Without even being aware of it, throughout the day we make up short stories that make us feel awful.
Let me give you some examples.
Story: I can’t help my patients if they don’t follow through with anything. They have to take some ownership for their own health.
Facts: I made medical recommendations and the patient did not take them.
Story: My staff/coworker/colleague/manager doesn’t pull their weight. I am working so much harder (or some variety thereof).
Facts: My coworkers are not working to the standard I believe in.
Story: Today is going to be so hard, I have a ton of patients and a splitting headache.
Fact: I have 20 patients today. I also have a headache.
These stories may or may not be true but when we allow this default narrative to play out unchecked it leads to overwhelm, irritation, frustration.
Overwhelm, irritation and frustration don’t generally result in a fantastic experience of work. Negative emotion begets more negative emotion and it’s really hard to take positive action if we keep that cycle going.
So, let’s turn our story creating prowess into a force for good. It’s not just positive thinking, it’s framing the same facts into a story that supports feeling in control, finding purpose in the work, and even supporting a sense of team. These things are protective factors against burnout (it’s in the research).
Initially this activity may be easiest to do retrospectively (ie: when you get home from work and have a second to think). In the moment, with emotions running high you may not be able to spontaneously create a new story. But if you can appreciate the impact that avoiding burnout will have on your work life and your personal life then you’ll try this daily practice.
At the end of the day, write down 3 situations at work that created negative emotion for you and then list the facts of each. (Hint: don’t put any descriptive words in the facts, words like rude, irritating, incompetent, never, always. Those belong in the story).
Once you have your 3 stories and the accompanying facts, see if you can create a new story, one that makes you feel more neutral. Maybe you can even write an empowering story.
Let’s revisit and revise the stories above.
Story: I can’t help my patients if they don’t follow through with anything. They have to take some ownership for their own health.
New Story: My patient IS taking ownership of their own health. If there is something standing in the way of them moving forward with a recommendation I want to find that out so I can address it and we can come up with a creative plan that is better for them. I will keep educating and encouraging them, even when they are struggling to follow through. Even if they don’t follow through, I am still providing care.
Story: My staff/coworker/colleague/manager doesn’t pull their weight. I am working so much harder(or some variety thereof).
New Story: I work hard at work because that is who I want to be. I take pride in being that person. Focusing on this instead of what my coworkers are doing keeps me much calmer and makes me a better NP. My first goal is patient care.
Story: Today is going to be so hard, I have a ton of patients and a splitting headache.
New Story: I can help people even when I’m not feeling well. I will do the best I can. I know that just listening to the patient is sometimes the most helpful thing.
Notice that these examples don’t even necessarily address the negative aspects of the previous stories. We don’t have to spend a lot of energy disbelieving or disproving them. We can just create new stories and shift our focus to them.
Try it (if you are willing to proactively commit to wellness at work). Evaluating and revising 3 stories at night may initially take 10 or 15 minutes but like any other skill, you develop new neural pathways, pathways to more quickly recognize the story you are telling, assess how it makes you feel, and create a new one. Very shortly you will find yourself doing this in real-time, it can become your default way of thinking.
This doesn’t mean you will never have a negative thought. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to try and make meaningful changes in broken systems at work. It means you are willing to actively work toward having a better experience, toward avoiding burnout.
Burnout doesn’t HAVE to happen, it isn’t something that we automatically succumb to if we work in this field long enough. It isn’t set in stone.
There are strategies that help and this strategy we have already mastered in another context. Let’s apply it to our own thriving. I double dog dare you.
P.S.
Sometimes believing in yourself and your ability to make meaningful change feels completely out of reach. Without this, taking any step can seem incredibly hard, or worse yet, pointless.
But you also know that where you are now is not where you want to be for the rest of your life. This is one of the benefits of a coaching consult call. I hold the belief for you. I know this works. And then from that place, we evaluate what exact problems are keeping you stuck and identify specific strategies that can help you move forward. Even if we aren’t a good match to work together, that hour call is not wasted. You can come away with a new belief, the first step to actually feeling better. Click here to schedule a time today.
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