Have you ever said,” If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself?”
And do you really believe that to be true?
It may be reasonable, in your experience, to hold this belief. After all, you may have a lot of insight and experience of how best to accomplish things in an effective way.
I often believe this to be true.
And yet, when it comes to combatting overwhelm, to feeling better about work or our lives, we often look outside of ourselves for the solution.
The job should be different.
Our spouse should understand.
Our children should sleep through the night, or be home on time, or pick up their socks and water bottles.
Our patients should have reasonable expectations.
Our coworkers should just do their jobs.
The computer should just work already.
If any (or all) of these things were the way they should be, THEN we could feel better.
But what if even in these situations,
if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself?
If you want it done AT ALL, you have to do it yourself.
What if feeling better was independent of any of the above factors?
But before you get discouraged by adding yet another thing to your mountain of responsibilities, let’s look at the return on investment. Instead of being overwhelmed by the prospect of doing it yourself, dig into some of that determination and competence to know that it’s as good as done and then think of the impact that feeling better would have on every aspect of your life.
What would it look like if you felt fulfilled at work, even when the patients wanted better outcomes (I mean, that’s understandable), even when the computer didn’t work or when your coworkers were struggling? How would your life change if you felt truly good despite all these things? What if it didn’t bother you that your spouse didn’t understand and what if you could be happy despite the fatigue of your children being up all night?
Take a minute and image that. Imagine how much easier things would be if you were ok in any situation. Imagine how much easier it would be if you just came home tired from a job well done instead of being emotionally drained. How would your family relationships be different? How would your motivation to follow through on your exercise or health goals be different? How would you show up for the things that you do after work?
Have you spent any real time thinking about just how great it would be if you could feel better?
What are you willing to do to make that a reality? If it would really have a monumental impact on your overall life, would you be willing to take one small action every day? Would you be willing to make feeling better a priority?
Would you be willing to do it yourself?
Are you prioritizing feeling better in your daily life right now?
If not, it’s totally normal. Many people want to feel better, but as long as we are looking for something outside of ourselves to make that happen, we won’t take any action. And if we don’t take any action, we will continue to be frustrated.
So how do we take action? How do we make a meaningful change?
You tell me.
How are you currently prioritizing things in your life? How do you remember what you need to do and when? How do you make sure it all gets done?
No really, how are you doing all the things you are currently doing?
I’m a list maker. I sit down on Sunday and look at what my week involves. I make a list of what I need or want to get done and then before scheduling it, I look at what my priorities are and make sure those are going to happen first.
I don’t look at the easiest things so I can check them off, I look at the most important things. How do I decide what’s most important? Easy, I just pick. I know that my health and wellness takes priority (this wasn’t always top of my list and I suffered because of it). I know that my relationships with my family and the mission of my business are also main priorities. These get done first.
I schedule the things that are important, this sometimes means that less important things get delayed.
Are you willing to schedule yourself as a priority? Are you willing to become that version of you that is thriving because you made the effort to feel better in your daily life?
Pick one thing to start, it doesn’t have to be drastic to get you heading in the right direction. Here is a list of ideas. I have done all of them at some point and still do some on the regular.
Get outside every day if only for a few minutes.
Listen to a guided meditation while trying to go to sleep. It’s totally fine if you get distracted or are asleep in 3 minutes.
Pick a thought for the day that is going to help you focus and write it on a post it somewhere you can see it.
I can take care of my patients even when it’s hard.
Breathe.
The work is important.
I can help my patients believe in themselves.
I know what I’m doing 😊
I can reset as many times as I need to during the day
Make a gratitude list every day
Make a list of wins every day
Move your body, even if it’s just for 3 minutes while you listen to your favorite song from 6th grade.
Practice box breathing.
Write down your frustrations and then ask yourself what else could be true. Can you reframe the narrative?
None of these things take more than a few minutes. The key is creating the intention to take ownership of your own happiness and then creating momentum by taking the first small action toward becoming that person.
Maybe you are more of a digital reminder type person. Maybe you need an accountability partner.
You know the systems that are already working in your life and what systems don’t work.
Now all you have to do is make them work for you.
Are you just too busy to prioritize yourself? Does this sound completely impossible? If so, know that you aren't alone. Many of my clients are extremely busy people. If this sounds like you, join my on October 30th for my free workshop, Debunking Mindfulness for Type-A Personalities, happening on Wednesday, October 30th at 7pm EST. You can register here
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