At this time of year, work may seem like the easiest part of your day and considering the work you do, that is really saying something about the craziness of life. It’s almost as if the anxiety of the world is palpable. People are driving crazy, the stores are mobbed, and everything seems like a bigger deal than usual.
To make it better, everyone is compelled to ask each other, “are you ready for the holidays?” like we need to be strapping on survival gear while judging our lack of progress, sweating while a continuous “I have so much to do” plays in our heads.
Sound about right?
Take a deep breath. There is an antidote to this, a buffer to the acidity of extreme self-expectations.
The best part is you don’t have to learn it. You already have the skills; they just need to be applied to the new situation.
Take the strategies that you use EVERY SINGLE DAY at work and apply them to life outside of work. A little bit of intentional action can go a long way.
#1. Don’t panic. Keep an objective outlook.
It’s easy to look at the day (or evening) ahead of you and get overwhelmed. Look at it the way you would look at your work schedule or assignment. Focus on one thing at a time and move through it. Don’t get swept away by emotions, they can be an unnecessary distraction. This doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means that you can care AND be calmly systematic. If you are feeling emotional, refer to step 3.
#2. Anticipate that you will get all the important things done in the time allotted (which means you don’t have to panic).
Have you ever stopped to reflect on the fact that you always get all the important things done at work? Sure, there are times that things may get left to the next day but the urgent things don’t. Take some reassurance from that that you can totally handle this. You handle things for a living. Stack the odds in your favor by anticipating success rather than prepping for failure. You are really good at getting things done.
#3. Take a deep breath and approach the struggling person with compassion and without judgment.
When patients are riddled with self-doubt, grieving, or struggling to make progress do you look at them with disgust and tell them to pull it together or do you acknowledge that some things take time and practice? Do you tell them that their emotions aren’t valid or are you there to reassure them, help them find new ways to try and just listen when they need to confide about their fears and self-limiting beliefs?
Treat yourself like a patient. Acknowledge that you too are going to struggle, you too are going to have times that you can’t see a clear path forward. It doesn’t mean the path isn’t there. Give yourself the reassurance that you won’t blow off how you are feeling AND that you can have compassion for yourself for feeling that way, even if it’s not how you want to feel. It may sound ridiculous but have you ever said to yourself, “I’ve got you. I’m here to support you”? Can you legitimately have your own back? Try it before you knock it.
#4. Prioritize.
This should go without saying but for some reason we act like every aspect of our lives is equally important, that we have to do it ALL and right away. This wouldn’t fly at work. We triage, we prioritize. It doesn’t mean everything isn’t important, it means some things are more important than others. When you face your day off, or your weekend before a holiday, take a look at your plans and prioritize them. Using this strategy, from the book Eat that Frog, may help. Make a list of all the things you want to get done. Then go back through and categorize the items:
Items you must do: there will be very strong positive or negative consequences for doing or not doing them
Items you should do: there will be mild consequences for doing or not doing them. Don’t start on any B item until all the A items are done.
Items that would be nice to do but don’t really have any huge consequences either way. These are the ones that somehow get tangled up in the midst of everything else and can pile on the overwhelm if we treat them like A or B tasks.
Items you can delegate.
Items you can eliminate.
#5. Remember why you are doing it.
This is really the most important thing for 2 reasons. First, it gives meaning to the work you do, it makes it worth it. We can remember this when we are helping the patient in front of us at work, but it may not be top of mind when running into Costco to pick up food for the holiday dinner. I know why I’m a NP and why I work with patients, but do I know why I am making it important to run into Costco at the same time as everyone else in NJ? Taking a quick minute to remember your why will make everything better. I am running into Costco because I love my family.
ORI want to have a lovely celebration tonight AND I want the house to be clean for it. A clean house when entertaining makes me happy. Remembering that it is for something I want will make the cleaning so much less stressful.
Secondly, remembering your why, will determine what is an A item on your list and what is not. If you have determined your health and wellness is a top priority in your life then exercise may be an A item. If you get that done and don’t get some of the B items accomplished, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you triaged it right, you achieved what was most important, what would have the biggest impact on your day.
You have the skills to have a peaceful end of 2024.
You have the compassion to see yourself through it.
You just have to apply what you have already mastered at work to the rest of your day. You got this!
P.S. Give yourself the gift of feeling better before the year is out. You don’t have to accept being exhausted or frustrated just because you work as a nurse. Schedule a time here (or DM me) to have an hour where we can figure this out together.
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